Is cesspool too strong a word?

I don’t hate it here. I can say that much. What I can’t say is that I like it, or that I would want to stay here.
When did the feelings start? They’ve always been there. I know this was the last place I thought I’d end up, but now that I’m here, I find it grating on me, wearing me down to the point where I have horrible thoughts that no person in a place with any peace should feel. I walk my dog in the mornings or afternoons and am usually greeted by that same pathetic excuse for a person, longingly wishing I’d entertain the notion of giving, yes, that’s right GIVING him the money that I eat shit to earn Monday through Friday.
I used to be such a nice guy. I used to be the guy who said he would never look down on another human being, much less have contempt for one. But that just isn’t the case anymore. Maybe because I’ve been close to there and didn’t completely go there. Maybe it’s because I just really value what I have now and can’t see myself giving it away for nothing. That’s not very Christ-like in the eyes of the church, but what would pass for Christ-like these days?
I see a city that would like nothing more than to wallow in the bile of self-pity or self sabotage more often than not, rather than actually look inward and change for the better. When you see something constantly drag itself down and bask in the depths of apathy, how long is it before you find yourself right there alongside it, apathetic with the best, or rather, worst of them?
When I first got here, it was, “I’ll give it a try for six months”. That turned into nine months, which turned into a year, which turned into two years and I look up to find it has been seven years. It’s at the point now where nothing I see surprises me anymore. Murders? Please don’t let the perps be black (yeah, right). Corruption in local government? They’d sell their souls for a bucket of chicken and some perfectly chilled, sweetened iced tea. Uneducated kids? The mayor and city council thought it would be a good idea to CUT education. WHO THE FUCK CUTS EDUCATION?
While we’re at it, who the fuck shuts down good ideas because they didn’t think of them, or even worse, someone who “ain’t from around here” thought of them? At what point do you stop being surprised or appalled by what you see and either start embracing it? What’s worse? Embracing it or not caring at all. It makes you wonder what the people who still care see that’s worth caring about. What happens when they decide it just isn’t worth it and either move away (lucky bastards), or worse, join in on the insanity.
I was talking to a city official today and he said “everybody’s going crazy. I don’t know why, but they are”.
All I could say was, “how can you tell?” He laughed...